The Midnight Meat Train is not a gay gang bang, it's a gorfest starring Bradly Cooper, Vinny Jones, and the guy from Hostel 2 who got his manparts cut off with a rusty pair of scissors. The story is based off a short story from the same author who penned Hellraiser. I originally had no hopes for the Vinny Jones slasher but of course, I was pleasantly surprised. The movie was simply over-the-top with the gore. Lets just say, there's a scene where Sam Raimi's brother gets hit in the back of the head with a massive meat tenderizer causing an insanely bloody digital eyeball to pop out of its socket. Blood then sprays in the face of the man's fellow passengers. Things just get crazy from there including a giant meat hook to the crotch and a women getting her head beaten off her shoulders. The gore continues but the story is what makes the movie interesting. A photographer(Pre-Hangover Bradly Cooper) is looking for darker subject matter for his art. His search leads him into the subway. He suddenly finds a connection in his photos. People who get on the midnight train with this creepy quiet guy(Post-Juggernaut Vinny Jones) suddenly disappear. So of course instead of letting murderous dogs lie he investigates further leading him into a hellish spiral and a sick and twisted finale.
The movie is frankly mediocre but it took me to a familiar place. Classic horror. It had the same vibes as The Ninth Gate, Event Horizon, or The Crow. The kind of childish terror you feel when a character you like is spiraling into a hell you know he's not going to be able to get out of. The close of the film took me back to middle school where film innocence was still present. The film to me was all about that feeling of nostalgia.
Overall I give the film 3.5 dead naked bitches out of 5.
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